Recently, we sat on our back patio with some friends who had just announced that they were pregnant with their first. What an exciting time of life to have our friends starting to have babies! But they asked us a question, as I kept one eye and ear on Harrison running around the patio kicking and throwing a ball. If we were going to do it all again, which we are, what’s the one thing that we would absolutely not do this time around.

I didn’t have a good answer. Parenting is such a personal thing, in my opinion. Every child is different. Every family is different. The only thing I could really think of that I would do differently is allow myself some more grace to live in the messy state of life that is figuring out life as a family of three.

I love routine, and love when things are predictable – that I can get out of the door in a set amount of time, know when baby needs to eat, etc. But as so many of you know, adding another little human life to your family that is completely dependent upon you for survival creates quite the upheaval in everyday life and routine.

For someone who likes to have all of the “chores” done before getting to relax and enjoy free time with friends or family, having Harrison meant letting the chores go until later to instead be present and enjoy time with him and as a family. To choosing the “fun” thing over getting all of the “have to do’s” done first.

I know what they wanted to hear. Something concrete, tangible. Potentially the secret to getting a baby to sleep through the night! Or be a good eater! Or that swaddles are way better than sleep sacks. But there just isn’t a mold and easy answer for any of that. Every mom I talk to does things a little differently. The important part is to offer yourself grace as you figure out what works for you and your family. And for the rest of mamas, to offer a listening and sympathetic ear (because we’ve all been there!), and advice when asked. Did you see what I just did there….offer advice when ASKED.

If I could do it all again, and I will here in just a few short weeks, I’m going to offer myself a little more grace for the imperfect house, the extra screen time that Harrison will no doubt get, the lack of exercise I will be doing, and a whole heap of

Oh, and I definitely won’t be bringing a curling iron with me to the hospital again. If you really want something tangible, that’s definitely not happening this time. Nobody’s got time for that.