Category: Motherhood

Pushing the Easy Button on Meal Planning

Posted on by Lauren Lane

We were out on a date night recently, and Nathan brought up meal planning. Mostly, he brought up the fact that he only gets the meals that he really likes once every six months or so. For many, many years, I was building my recipe repertoire. And now, I have a trove of recipes that I know my family loves.

But for some reason, I keep searching for new recipes. So much so that I usually try one new recipe a week.

This conversation coincided with a parallel conversation of “I have too much on my plate right now, and I feel stressed.” Anybody else feel like this conversation is continuous?! Never ending….

So Nathan said, “Listen. All I’m asking is that we get our favorite meals once quarterly.”

That next Monday I sat down and made a list. A winter/fall recipe list, and a summer/spring list. And you know what? I’m taking “trying new recipes” off of my to do list for awhile until I have more capacity. Now, I go to my spreadsheet, pick three random meals from the list, and those are the three meals we have that upcoming week.

I mark them off, and then they are off of the possibilities until we’ve made it all the way through our recipe list.

It sounds so simple…and yet, I spend so much less time meal planning now.

Tell me, do you have a list of go-to recipes and just cook from that list? How often do you try a new recipe?

My Breastfeeding Journey

Posted on by Lauren Lane

How to feed your baby always feels like a bit of a touchy subject. Somehow, in my generation, there has been engrained a sense of failure if we can’t breastfeed our babies. Or even more so, shame if we don’t WANT to breastfeed our babies. Over the course of the past five years of having little babies that I’ve been entrusted to nourish and grow, I have seen great strides made in trying to walk back this shame and sense of failure. It’s a bit like undoing the complete mental jungle gym we got wrapped up in as teenagers of having a certain body type, clothes, etc, to fit in. But I can see that progress is being made little by little.

As I approached motherhood with Harrison, I definitely fell into the category of unsure about breastfeeding, but concluded that I should try it since it was deemed to be “best” for the baby.

That journey with him was depleting to my very core. On top of dealing with undiagnosed and untreated postpartum depression, I struggled mightily to figure out breastfeeding. I had taken the classes, and I thought I was prepared, but I truly wasn’t. We struggled with latching correctly, the lactation consultant at the hospital gave us a nipple shield. It got very quickly to the point where he refused to nurse on one side without the shield, and I truly hated it. While he struggled to get enough food at the hospital and his early days at home, I was pumping after each breastfeeding session and then feeding him through a small syringe to try to get more calories into him. It was depleting, exhausting, and awful for my mental health.

Perhaps more shocking, I thought that this was just what motherhood was truly.

It wasn’t until he was a couple of weeks old that our pediatrician gave us the name of a lactation consultant that would come to our house to help work with me on training him off of the shield and attempting to fix his latch issues. I wish I had had this resource lined up for as soon as I came home from the hospital. It changed everything for my breastfeeding journey with Harrison and all of the babies after him.

I worked hard to train Harrison to nurse without the nipple shield. Again, it was sooo hard to get him to drop it after he had gotten used to it. I vowed to never use one again with any future pregnancy because this retraining was so depleting for me. But eventually, we got there.

We cruised along until four months, and his weight percentile dropped. I was asked to start supplementing him with formula, and I felt like a failure. By six months, when I returned to work, my supply dropped to almost nothing with all of the pumping, and by seven months I had given up on my breastfeeding journey with Harrison. I remember being very upset about it, because it wasn’t my choice. I felt like my body had just failed me – it just quit producing. And so that breastfeeding journey ended.

Jonathan’s journey was different. I was more confident. I knew how a good latch should feel, what the placement should look like, and it showed. He was an amazing nurser from the beginning. We sailed through his first year, and while my supply dropped again when I went back to work, I had enough of a stash and a proficient enough feeder that we were able to keep him on breast milk with a little bit of supplementing with formula for weight gain for his entire first year. I felt lucky and accomplished to have made it so long with him.

Aidan was a mix in between Harrison and Jonathan. He wasn’t an automatic great nurser. But again, I had two breastfed babies under my belt, and I felt confident. I’ve found myself considering my own needs and mental health more this time around. My attitude with breastfeeding this time around has been more of a “if it works, that’s great. If it doesn’t, he’ll be fine.” And for the most part, that has served us well. There’s been more chaos in this newborn haze. The world wasn’t stopped because of COVID this time around – there were still kids activities, two screaming and wrestling brothers that never seem to miss a chance to be the absolute most chaotic while I’m trying to nurse.

Since going back to work, though, I’ve gotten well acquainted with my pump yet again. I hated pumping. Everything about it. Over three pregnancies, though, I’ve upgraded my pump each time. It started with a “has to be plugged into the wall” pump. Absolutely hated the thing. I upgraded to Spectra S2 with Jonathan. It came with a rechargable battery, so I didn’t have to be connected to a wall plus. It felt like an absolute dream compared to the first pump, but I was still rather restrcted from doing anything but sitting or standing in one place while pumping because of the big motor.

And this time around, after hemming and hawing over the price tag, I splurged for a wearable pump and got a gently used Elvie. (I just couldn’t bring myself to pay full price!) But truly, I think it would have been worth full price. It’s completely changed how I felt about pumping. Easy, comfortable, and I can walk around and do chores while I pump. And no dang pumping bra needed.

I guess this is a bit of a chronicle through my journey of this phase of motherhood. And it’s swiftly coming to an end, as we’ll stop nursing over the next couple of months.

If I were talking to a girlfriend about to become a new mom, I guess this is what I would say about breastfeeding:

  • I wish someone had normalized earlier supplementing for babies. This idea that I could potentially choose to feed my baby in two different ways has changed my outlook on our journey together. That I could potentially choose to not be the 100% provider of his food is freeing. And maybe potentially the best of both worlds.
  • Find a lactation consultant that will come to your house after you come home from the hospital BEFORE the baby is born. And just anticipate paying for at least one visit. Especially if you’re committed to trying breastfeeding.
  • That wearable pump is amazing. If you have the means, upgrade to the wearable pump.
  • And most basically, you’re not a failure if you don’t want to breastfeed. And you’re not a failure if breastfeeding just doesn’t work. That baby is going to thrive – boob milk or not. You’re going to be a great mom, and it has nothing to do with how your baby is fed.

Aidan’s Birth Story

Posted on by Lauren Lane

For months, we had planned on an April 11th induction date. It was a good compromise, we thought. It was exactly at 39 weeks gestation of this baby and it avoided Harrison’s birthday of April 13th. I was concerned as to how my kids would fare it they had to potentially share a birth date.

And so I planned out all of the doctors appointments, hair appointments, grooming appointments and ‘before baby’ brunches and lunches for those two weeks leading up to an expected April 11th induction.

It was the evening of March 27th. Baby Aidan was 36 weeks and 6 days gestation. We had just completed another marathon Monday evening. Harrison had soccer practice, Jonathan had a teacher educator appointment, we dashed home and hurriedly ate dinner as a family and got the boys off to bed. Nathan had retired to the basement to watch an episode of a show, and I was just getting into bed to read when…my water broke. As I laid down in bed. Yes, I was sure. I knew without a doubt it was my water breaking even though I had never had my water spontaneously breaks with the other two labors before this one.

I carefully walked to the basement stairs and called down to Nathan that I was pretty sure my water broke. He came to the edge of the stairs and looked up at me, “Seriously?”

I had heard enough birth stories by this point that I knew that there was no waiting it out until my planned 39 weeks to have this baby. This baby was coming. And the baby was coming that night.

I had somehow had the foresight to pack my hospital bag literally that afternoon. Nathan had nothing packed and hurriedly shoved clothes into a bag while making calls to my mom (yes, I need you to wake [Papa] up to come stay with the boys. We’re going to he hospital.). His parents, who had literally just landed in Denver also assuming that there was several weeks before baby’s arrival.

I called my OB to get the ok to head to the hospital. And worriedly paced around my bedroom while leaking amniotic fluid and trying to get my brain to remember the “last minute things” I hadn’t packed already.

My dad arrived to stay with the boys, and I snuck into each boys’ room to give them one last kiss and hug. And Nathan and I headed to the hospital to have our very last baby.

Contractions had started by that point. And as I lay in triage while they decided whether I was going to be admitted, the contractions had increased in duration and time in between as well as intensity.

After what always feels like an eternity in triage, we were whisked away to our labor and delivery room. It was about 1:30 in the morning at that point. I had progressed to 5 cm on my own, and the nurse told me that I just needed to let her know when I wanted the epidural. A short time later, fearing that I would be too late to get the epidural and for it to work, I asked to have the anesthesiologist called to place the epidural.

Finally at about 3:30 in the morning, with epidural placed, the doctor said we’d wait and check to see how things were progressing at seven in the morning at shift change.

Nathan and I tried to rest, but neither of us slept much. And then at 5:00 am the OB resident came in to check me, and declared my labor complete and ready to push. He asked me not to push, and hurriedly asked the nurse to notify the attending OB and the rest of the delivery team to get set up immediately.

After three pushes, Aidan was born at 5:21 am, three weeks early at exactly 37 weeks.

He had the meekest little cry. I was overjoyed with love for this little tiny human immediately. Many doctors and nurses checked him over and over again given the concerns they were monitoring with him during my pregnancy, and he was totally normal and healthy.

Given his early (and quick) delivery, his lungs had not expelled all of the liquid from them. He spent one night in the NICU on a breathing machine, and was cleared to come back to us in our mother/baby room by lunch the next day.

After daycare the next day, Nathan brought Jonathan and Harrison to meet their littlest brother. Watching the love and pride they had for baby Aidan was the cherry on top to an easy delivery and healthy little baby.

I’m Back! And I Want You To Meet…

Posted on by Lauren Lane

Sweet little Aidan James.

I’m officially a boy mom. Three little boys. I’m currently sitting at my parents’ cabin in the Black Hills of South Dakota. Aidan and I made the trip to visit my parents for a week because…why not??

It’s been much needed. This week away from the stressors of mom life with a newborn.

I have so much to share. It’s felt like it’s been forever since I’ve been on this little internet space, and I’ve missed you all.

The first ten weeks of Aidan’s life…have been so hard. Maybe it’s the switch from two to three littles. Maybe it’s the fact that I forgot just how tough that first month of a newborn’s life is… Maybe it’s that Aidan hasn’t been as good of a sleeper as his big brothers were. Who knows. But wow. That first month in particular of Aidan’s life was super hard.

I’ve felt most days are a fog, truthfully. I have been caught between two competing truths. The depth of my love for this little boy is immeasurable. I adore him. And at the same time, I’ve felt defeated and exhausted a lot surviving on far too little sleep for what feels like an eternity.

But we’re starting to find our routine now. Aidan’s sleep is improving slowly but surely. And I’m starting to feel more like myself as time goes on. This week at my parents’ cabin has been so, so needed. To have my parents here to take care of me while simultaneously getting me away from my never ending to-do list at home. I miss my big boys, but my mind and body needed the quietness of the cabin.

Enough about me for now. How are you all doing?? How is summer going so far? What’s on your reading list this summer and what are you looking forward to most?

I have so much to share – I’m going to share Aidan’s full birth story so very soon! I wrote it down somewhere in the fog of that first month so I wouldn’t forget. Now I just have to go back and read it to see if it makes any sense!

For the first few weeks back here, I’m going to do my best to post once or twice a week and work back up to three times a week. I have garden updates, book reviews, and more to share! Thanks for coming back and hanging with me while I work my way to finding our new normal.

Easter at the Lanes

Posted on by Lauren Lane

Easter is sneaking up here quickly. April is going to be a particularly busy month at the Lane house. In addition to the holiday, Harrison’s birthday is in April AND we’ll be adding this third little one to our family…all within about two weeks of each other. I have been planning super early to make sure I’m ready for both celebrations in case little one decides they just can’t wait any longer.

I wanted to share how we did our Easter baskets last year because it was the most fun we’d had yet, and made the hunt last even longer. AND, I’m going to share how the Nathan and his family did Easter basket hunting as well, because I think it’s an amazing idea as well!

Our Easter Basket Hunt…

After the boys went to bed, the Easter Bunny took yarn in a specific color for each boy, and, starting at their bedroom door, thread the yarn all over the house. It went up high, it went down low. They criss-crossed each other all over the house. And the yarn ended at their Easter basket.

It’s also, worth noting, that it’s really hard to take a picture of what this look like….

We helped the boys in the morning each follow their yarn to find their Easter baskets, and they both loved the game!

How the Lanes Did Easter Baskets…

I equally loved how the Lanes did Easter baskets when they were little, too. They would come up with a scavenger hunt for each kid. Each one had a different color of Easter egg, and they would solve their scavenger hunt clues that would take them all over the house, until the very last clue would lead them to their Easter basket’s hidden spot.

I think that’s the coolest idea ever!

I can’t decide which way we’ll go with this year….yarn maze or scavenger hunt, but I think they both make the Easter basket hunt significantly more fun!

What other cool ideas or traditions do you have in your family for Easter??

A Pregnancy Update: The Final Push

Posted on by Lauren Lane

I just wrapped up my Week 34 OB visit. By this point in pregnancy, it feels like I spend more time at the doctor’s office than I do working some weeks. And given that we’re only about six-ish, or less, weeks out and I’ve done virtually no documenting of this pregnancy, I thought we’d do a little update.

Baby is growing so well! Given the area of the baby that our high-risk pregnancy doctors are watching closely, we’ve had growth ultrasounds every four weeks. The baby is measuring each scan around the 60th percentile and a few days days ahead of my due date. While the area they are monitoring hasn’t changed to “totally normal and no need to monitor further,” we’ve done all that we can at this point to understand what the remaining risks are for the baby and what it could potentially look for the baby after delivery. We’ve been able to eliminate completely some of the potential issues through additional testing. But now we wait and see…

Nathan and I are, for the most part, at peace with that. Although it was a road for me to get to a place where I could let it go and just trust God and our doctors.

I’ve had people ask what we are having this time. Annnnd. While we know what we are having, we aren’t sharing this time around. We had to do something different for this very last baby!

As far as readying ourselves to welcome this third little one, I have to admit that I feel very behind. We have moved the boys’ playroom from the remainder upstairs unused bedroom down to the basement. And we’ll use the former playroom as this little one’s nursery. And aside from that, I’ve done nothing to the room. I’m anxiously awaiting the painter to come and paint for me so I can start final prep of the room!

Then there’s the old question of how do I feel. I feel like I’m ready to be done with pregnancy. While I can caveat this with disclaimers that I’m absolutely so thankful that my body allows me to be pregnant, and that we have been really blessed to not struggle with conceiving, etc. I am ready to move to the next phase of life of raising our kids. My body certainly feels every bit of this third pregnancy. The aches and pains, the insomnia, the heartburn, the general discomfort from having feet kicking my ribs, the baby hiccups that always seem to happen when I lay down to go to sleep at night. I am very ready to have my body back to myself for forever.

And now we wait, and hope that the scans of this little one continue to be good. And hopefully get a nursery pulled together before it arrives! I feel all of the excitement and nervousness that comes as the end nears.

Let’s Look: At What’s In My Medicine Cabinet

Posted on by Lauren Lane

It’s Let’s Look day where we share a peak into some very random aspect of our lives!

Last month, I shared how I schedule/organize our family.

And today, I’m linking up with Shay and Erika to share a look at our “medicine cabinet.” And I do mean medicine cabinet.

Oh man. You know we have buckets of medicine. Pantloads of medicine in this house. We are in the pit of daycare germ central in the Lane house. Harrison has finally grown to an age where he really only gets super sick once or twice a year, and will have a few colds thrown in there. Jonathan, though. Bless. Our little COVID baby who was around people with masks from the time he was born until January of last year, woof. We have taken a beating on the cold front with him for the past year. All of us. Or really, mainly me since he practically wants to re-attach his umbilical cord and won’t let me go whenever he’s sick. If Jonathan’s sick, I can pretty much guarantee that my immune system will not withstand being coughed in the face, sneezed on, vomited on, used as a human Kleenex, and invariably the child steals my water bottle and puts all of his cold germs all over it.

Can you tell I’m a bit of a germaphobe? Not a good combination with a toddler who goes to full time daycare. But I’m working through it.

I debated on how to set up this post. Because I could probably go on for a looooong time about medicine. But since we’re looking at medicine cabinets, I’m going to share how I attack sicknesses around here…

At the first sign of sickness for anybody in this house:

I start with Elderberry syrup for everyone. I make my own, because it’s ridiculously expensive at the store and honestly super easy to make. But as soon as I see the snot rolling down my toddler’s face, out comes the elderberry. The boys actually love this stuff. It has honey in it, though, so it’s only ok if they are over the age of one. And, of course, you should always do your own research, talk to your pediatrician, etc. I’m just simply sharing what we do in this house 🙂

I buy a package of elderberries off of Amazon, and I use this recipe that lasts us about a month or more and we use it a loooot. I have yet to run out of elderberries either, and it’s been almost a year of doing this.

I myself start taking Zicam immediately and Emergen-C as soon as someone is sick in the house because….why not.

For the kids:

If it’s just a minor cold, I mostly let them ride it out without much intervention. If they’re complaining about how they’re feeling or have a cough, I opt for Hyland’s Children’s Daytime or Nightime and/or a teaspoon of honey for a cough. Again – only if they’re over one.

We have humidifiers going in their rooms at night all winter long. And we just ride it out.

If they have a fever that’s bothering them and they’re uncomfortable and not sleeping well, I throw in the ibuprofen as well.

I also usually add in a warm epsom salt bath in the evening to release toxins, and then some crazy cold wet sock trick that I read about on the internet.

What’s the cold sock treatment, you ask?

You soak lightweight cotton socks in ice water. Ring them out and put them on right after your bath, and cover with one or two pairs of dry heavy wool socks. The theory is that it puts your immune system into high gear over night as it works to warm your feet, and thus, works harder to fight off anything else your body is fighting, too. Does it work? I don’t know. Who can really say…but it seems to help the boys. And at the very least, they think it’s kind of cool to do something special.

Other items I always keep in our kids’ medicine cabinet: children’s Claritin, children’s Benadryl, Pedialyte, Stool softeners, and hydrocortisone. Nose frida…boogie wipes…the list could go on. 🙂

The adults medicine cabinet consists of: ibuprofen, Tylenol, DayQuil, NyQuil, Sore throat lozenges, Sinus congestion medicine, cough medicine, and Mucinex for colds. And then we have things like Pepto Bismal, Pepcid Complete for heartburn, and allergy meds.

Of course, we have a variety of first aid items as well: heating pads, band-aids of every variety and design, Neosporin, thermometers on every floor of the house, ice packs.

Those are the things that we arm ourselves with in this house!

Friday Favorites {02.03.23}

Posted on by Lauren Lane

Well, old Punxsutawney Phil didn’t do us any favors yesterday by predicting six more weeks of winter. I don’t know that anyone puts much stock in whether a groundhog sees his shadow or not, but there is something about it that makes me ever so slightly bummed when it seems like every year he predicts more winter. It’s a thought of, “What if this groundhog really DOES know what’s in store for the next six weeks?” Similar to those email chains you’d get in the 2000’s. ‘Send this 20 people or bad luck for a year! ‘ Did I forward that email to twenty people every time? I sure did. Didn’t want to take any chances just in case it was legit.

But I digress…here are some of my favorites from the past (few) weeks! Happy Friday, friends!

A couple weeks ago, we packed our children up and sent them off to their Gigi and Pops for the most magical, relaxing 24 hours by ourselves I feel like I’ve ever experienced. Ha! It’s been over three years since we’ve been sans kids by ourselves overnight. Jonathan had never spent a night away from us. And oh my goodness…those 24 hours felt life-giving.

Read more

My 2023 Word of the Year

Posted on by Lauren Lane

Last year was the very first year that I picked a word of the year. Do you do this? I liked it so much more than resolutions for myself because I actually remembered it all year long. It was chiming in the back of my head so often, particularly in the midst of an argument. My word last year was “Listen.” And I truly found myself being more conscious to listen to my friends, coworkers, kids, and husband.

Back at the beginning of December I started thinking about a word I’d like to choose the upcoming year. And the one I kept coming back to was “Trust.”

The reason I picked “trust” was because I found myself often looking for other people’s validation of my choices. I found myself second-guessing my own thoughts a lot. I wanted to focus myself when I started to find myself swayed by other’s opinions and thoughts, or seeking out other’s approval, for the voice in the back of my head to whisper to me “trust.” Trust yourself.

Recently, given the path that we’re walking on this pregnancy and the ultrasounds we’ve had for this little one, my word that I picked for the year has taken on another meaning. Trust in our guts. Trust in God that he will walk us through what is before us. Trust that it will all be made good in His perfect timing.

How strange that the word came to me before it hit me like a ton of bricks of needing it? I love when it feels like there’s a reminder in everyday life that God’s walking with you already. Right there, walking with you through life.

We Need You To Come Back for Another Scan

Posted on by Lauren Lane

<<Current update: I’m choosing to share these very raw feelings and words I wrote down after we had a second ultrasound a few weeks ago to look at an area of our baby that didn’t seem quite right. There is still the possibility that our baby is completely healthy. Ultrasound technology and what they can see and determine while a baby is in utero has come a long ways, but it isn’t a complete picture. While we don’t have answers, and we may have no answers until this little one is born, the news that there may be something wrong with your baby is always jarring. No matter the severity. No matter the consequence. No matter past experience, modern medicine, and so many other things. I share these thoughts unaltered in their rawest form as a way of helping myself process, seeking prayers and community as there is strength in drawing support from others that we do not walk through this life alone, and in an attempt to be honest about real life. Our real life. Real life isn’t a straight line of perfect sequences after another. I would love for life to be pretty all of the time. But we all know that’s not the case. I started this space as a way of documenting our journey through life. Sharing the things that bring me joy, but also, the flip side of the same coin.

I won’t be sharing exact details of what they were looking at or what could potentially be wrong. We’re working with our doctors and specialists to determine what, if anything, we should do now. At the same time, we are spending time praying that despite all of the doctors’ best efforts to give us a more accurate picture of what is going on, that they truly just don’t know for sure, and there may be nothing wrong at all.>>

I spent yesterday crying. Crying, breaking down, crumbling. I swirled in a sea of google searches trying to make sense of what little they could tell on the ultrasound that something didn’t look quite right with our baby. I didn’t function yesterday. I looked at my two healthy boys and couldn’t push from my mind from that unknown of what was wrong with their younger sibling. And so I laid in bed. And on the bathroom floor. And crumbled. 

I feel like I searched desperately for someone to tell me that what was seen on the ultrasound was potentially nothing. Clinging to a hope that there will be nothing wrong once they can finally examine the baby after delivery. Clinging to potentially a false hope that everything will be fine.

But that’s what we do sometimes to protect our heart. We waffle between trying to make sense and coming to grips of two extremes. Whether nothing will be wrong to potentially a lifelong condition that will change everything we had envisioned as the future of this family. 

I don’t have any answers. No profound wisdom. I feel raw and exposed. Hope cracking. And so I trudge on. Trying to be kind to myself and my mind. Three more months seems infinite to live with unknowns. And yet not long enough to try to enjoy the last of potentially ordinary, easy days. 

I’d appreciate prayers for me and the baby. 

Specifically, for our doctors that are trying to guide us on next steps. 

Please pray that there is nothing wrong. 

For my strength and resilience to keep going for the baby and all of my boys. 

For Nathan as he shoulders the emotional weight of a wife struggling. 

For I the Lord God hold your right hand. It is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” -Isaiah 41:13