I just wanted to quickly say a sincere ‘thank you’ for all of the well wishes and congratulations on my last post. I always feel a bit uncertain sharing such big life news for some reason. It’s such a vulnerable thing, even when it’s so exciting, and I just appreciate the kindness of you all.
Given that this pregnancy news is very new to the internet world, and we’re already almost halfway through this pregnancy, I wanted to answer for my blog friends certain questions that always seem to come up when I talk with girlfriends about family and having babies. And while I documented my second pregnancy with Jonathan on the blog, I don’t think I’ve ever talked about some basic family and pregnancy questions!
So, I thought it would be fun to have a chat between girlfriends, just like I do in real life about all things babies and pregnancy!
Did you always know you wanted to be a mom? No. I never really focused deeply on a life vision for myself. I didn’t as a little girl dream of a wedding, but assumed that someday I would meet someone I’d want to spend my life with and we’d build our lives together. Similarly, I never really envisioned myself as a mom when I was younger. The overthinker in me thought it sounded too hard and a whole heap of things out of your control. So even when I met Nathan, I wasn’t sure I wanted children, and he very much knew he wanted to be a dad.
My college roommate often marvels and jokes with me about how different I am than the person she knew so well in college. A girl who didn’t want any kids at all, felt so awkward being around little ones, and thought for sure that motherhood wasn’t for me.
That thought process changed over time. I can’t really point to one moment or set of circumstances that changed, but my heart eventually came around to the idea of wanting something more than just Nathan and myself.
What was the most surprising thing about pregnancy? I research everything. So truthfully, I wasn’t terribly surprised by much of the physical part of pregnancy. What did surprise me was the mental toll it takes on me. I don’t feel like myself and I struggle to find motivation to do things I generally enjoy when not pregnant. I definitely don’t feel my best self the entire time, and I don’t enjoy the process.
That being said, I’m really trying to enjoy this “last” one, and appreciate what my body does for me.
What does almost 38 year old to be mom wish you had known as a 33 year old new mom? Almost nothing works out the way you think it should. The birth, feeding, going home, new splitting of responsibilities with your partner. And it will all be ok. This too shall pass.
From a very practical standpoint, I had no idea that there were things you needed for breastfeeding and pumping aside from like…a pump. You guys, I was clueless. My sister came in clutch bringing me over a breastfeeding kit about a month before I had Harrison.
Biggest regret of pregnancy and post-partum? Aside from letting my post-partum depression after Harrison go undiagnosed and just suffering through it, which is honestly a HUGE, MASSIVE regret, I regret not doing newborn photos. So we are not making that mistake this time! I thought they were too much money and an unnecessary luxury after Harrison, Jonathan was born in the stinking middle of the COVID pandemic and I didn’t want any person that I wasn’t 100% sure didn’t have COVID around him, so here we are. I want newborn photos.
Are you staying in your house or planning on moving? We haven’t figured out where everyone is going to sleep yet, but we’re planning on staying where we are for now. We love our neighbors who have young kids and our location! I can’t decide whether I want the boys to share a room or if we take our upstairs playroom and turn it back into a bedroom so that all three kids can have their own rooms. What do you all think?
Have you thought about names? We’ve always had a girl name that we like, and still do. But we struggle with boy names. So if this is another boy, lord help us come up with the perfect name.
Are you finding out the gender? Yes. We’re going to find out the gender. We did early genetic testing, so we technically have the gender card from that.
Are you hoping it’s a girl? Woof. That’s a loaded question. Yes and no. I’d love a girl, but at this point, I’m also very happy being a boy mom. If I ended up with three boys, I’m sure there would be an initial sadness to not have a girl and the chance for a mother/daughter relationship, cute girl clothes, and maybe the chance to go pick out wedding dresses with her someday. But I know, similar to what happened after having Harrison, that a point would come that I couldn’t imagine life any other way.
There are so many mothers of three boys that I really admire, including having grown up next to a family of three boys who felt like brothers. I think there is something really special about being a mom of all boys. Our neighbor from growing up was truthfully one of the most impactful women in my childhood, just like a second mom and her love of her boys shaped how I saw how truly wonderful the mother/son relationship could be.
She passed away the year I had Harrison, and I’ll always remember one of her son’s eulogies at her funeral. He said, “Mom loved many things, but she loved being a mom the most of all. She loved being our mom.” More than anything else, I hope my kids can say that about me one day.
Are you sure this is it? Yes. I’m sure. I’m very confident that our family will feel complete after adding this little one. And that my body and mind can’t handle another pregnancy.
