My final trimester of pregnancy is coming to a close. <Insert happy dance!> In all seriousness, I have made a very conscious effort to enjoy this pregnancy more. To embrace my body that is growing another human being, rather than get frustrated at the number of pounds gained or how I looked. I am unbelievably grateful for this body that is able to sustain life, and I know that is a privilege that so many would ache to have. But, I am ready to move to the next phase of meeting this new little man.

This popped up on my Instagram feed the other day, and it really hit home. This time three years ago waiting for Harrison, the fear and anxiety I had over the birth, how we would survive with a newborn, how Nathan and I would transition to parenthood were all-consumiing. And this time around, even though I know it won’t be the same, there’s confidence that we will be alright. And we will figure it out. And yes, it will be hard. And yes, there are going to be things that we didn’t experience with Harrison that we’ll experience this time, but it will all even out. And we’ll be ok. Better than ok. It will be hard to imagine our family without the newest little guy.

How I’ve Felt: Initially, things were good leaving my second trimester. As time has gone on, I’ve had a lot of days, much earlier this time around, of pain as my body prepares to go into labor. There have been nights where I haven’t slept because of the pain and every position hurting, and I was surprised to find this earlier on in this third trimester. I remembered it pretty clearly in my final month of pregnancy the first go-around, but it was as though my body already knew what it was supposed to be doing, so it’s just getting ready earlier.

Similar to that, the pregnancy insomnia this trimester is very, very real. I have trouble falling asleep and finding a comfortable position, and routinely get woken up by baby several times a night. There have been weeks where I’ve just given up on sleep, and hopped out of bed rather than tossing and turning at 3:30 or 4 in the morning. This is where all those people that like to offer advice/commentary on things they shouldn’t will tell you, “Well, you’re not going to get anymore sleep once the baby gets here!” Not helpful.

Being Pregnant During a Pandemic: Ya’ll, I had high hopes many, many months ago that by the end of July coronavirus would be in a valley of infections. But it seems like it’s worse than ever in our area right now. Our family has been in almost complete quarantine, aside from a weekly trip to the grocery store, including having Harrison back at home. It’s not the way I pictured bringing a little one into this world. In fact, if I sit and let myself wallow in it, it’s pretty easy to be so disappointed and sad all of the unknowns right now.

On the flip side, there’s also some positives. The fact that the hospital is not allowing visitors means that the stress of having to decide who can come visit and when during those couple of days that feel like a blur of tests, nurses, and trying to figure out this newest little guy is just gone. Because there are no choices. But overall, this is not what I’d wish for anyone getting ready to give birth.

Cravings?: Ugh. Yes. All the junk food, unfortunately. All the chips. All of the chocolate and ice cream. And still absolutely no interest in chicken. And also, all of the fruit. I eat soooo much fruit. Watermelon, strawberries, blueberries, grapes. Give me all of it!

Work-Out Schedule: Sporadic. I still try to get in three Bar Method classes a week from home. In this final month of pregnancy, though, and having Harrison with us all day, I’ve realized that my body does not have the physical endurance to take care of Harrison all day AND work out. It leads to a very grouchy, irritable, and in pain mama. Insert some grace for myself right here.

What’s Baby Been Doing?: Moving. All the time. Getting the hiccups multiple times a day, usually at least once as I’m trying to fall asleep at night. I swear this child is more active than his older brother already, and I AM KIND OF FREAKING OUT ABOUT THAT. Harrison has sooooo much energy, and never seems to tire. And if the activity of this kiddo in the womb is any indication of what’s to come. Oh man. Lord help me.

Things I’ve Enjoyed Most About This Trimester: I love the earlier part of this trimester when you truly look pregnant, and can enjoy that piece of it. The last month of pregnancy, the blob feeling kind of comes in strong. But still trying to be grateful for this big blob!

Things I’ve Found Hardest About This Trimester: The difficulty of just moving as quickly and as much as I used to. It’s particularly difficult with Harrison, and I remember it being difficult when I was pregnant the first time around. That point where turning from one side to the other at night is like a full body work out. Or getting up off the couch involves a weird roll to the side and needing help.

What Does Harrison Think?: He’s as ready as I think he’s going to be for little brother. We’ve read books about being a big brother, and watched Daniel Tiger episodes about having a little sibling. We talk about baby brother all the time, and Harrison looooves his new room and now refers to his old room as baby brother’s. For a two year old, I think we’re about as close as we can get to being ready for life to change!

Have We Picked a Name?: I think we’ve got a name that we’re going to go with, that is neither of the two names that I thought it was going to be at the end of the second trimester. But we’re going to wait to meet him before officially deciding on it.

Are You Ready?: Yes. We’re ready. But I’m going to go hug my only child now. Just to make sure he knows how much I love him.