{{A note to the reader: I’ve written my little boys letters throughout their whole lives. I share some of them here on this blog. Some are kept just for them in their memory boxes. Letters are my way of memorializing their childhood and their mama’s love for them.}}

We’re less than two months away from you not being my little baby anymore. While you waffle between wanting to be called Baby J or Big J, I’m pretty sure that I’m going to be stuck calling you Baby J for forever. Maybe until I get used to just calling you Jonathan.

I’m worried about how you’ll do in this transition to big brother from littlest brother. You have always been my little shadow. Always preferring to be held by Mama, hugged and cuddled by Mama. You’ve grown up so much over the past couple of months, though. Seeking more independence, you’ve insisted that “No, I DO it.” But I still worry. Worry that you won’t get the attention you need to know you’re still so loved. Worried that you may be jealous of your new little sibling.

Let’s make a plan, little boy. That when you’re feeling lonely or need Mama time, you come hold my hand. And I’ll know that you need me for time alone with just you.

We’ll sneak away for even ten minutes of playing together in the bounce house trying to chase you around. Or plan a date night for burgers and ice cream. Or just cuddle in your bed before falling asleep at nap.

Change can be hard. But good comes out of change. It stretches us and teaches us what we’re capable of in the present. And I just know that you’re going to be great big brother.

You are so special. You are a piece of my heart. Always will be. I love you treats, little one.

Love always,

Mommy