Once a month I link up with two of my favorite blogs (Shay @ Mix and Match Mama and Erika @ A Little Bit of Everything), to share a “look” into some little aspect of our life. Here’s a peak back at what we’ve “looked” at this year:
- In January, we looked at our coffee stations.
Today, we’re looking at love languages. When I hear someone talk about love languages, I immediately think they’re talking about Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages. Both Nathan and I have read his book, and it clearly speaks to millions of other people, as well. With over 42,000 five star reviews on Amazon 😲, it’s sold millions and millions of copies, been translated into other languages, and is probably the most notable ‘relationship’ book on the market. Even if you haven’t read Dr. Chapman’s book, you’ve probably heard of the five love languages.
- Acts of Service
- Quality Time
- Gifts
- Affirmation
- Physical Touch
We all like to receive love in a different way from our partners and even our families. And it doesn’t mean that the other love languages aren’t appreciated in a relationship, it’s just that there tends to be a dominant language for each person. A language that makes them feel special and…well, loved.
Nathan and I learned long ago that we don’t share the same love language. (Boy, it might have been easier if we did, though!). So we have to work at speaking in the other’s language because its not our own dominant language.
Nathan’s love language is affirmation. When I’m doing a good job at speaking his love language, I’m thinking about how my words can bolster him up ALL OF THE TIME. Leaving a post-it note reminding him how proud I am of him and all he’s done. Noticing his contributions and verbalizing my appreciation for them. Compliments. Compliments. Compliments. Verbal recognition for the sacrifices he makes for his family and how he provides for us. That’s how Nathan Lane feels the most loved.
You know what’s a dead giveaway to his love language? I left a sticky note in his car well over a year ago when he was on his way to the airport for a work trip saying something simple about how much we loved him and that we’d miss him while he’s gone. That sticky note is still in his car on his dashboard.
My love language is quality time. And you know what? I LOVE how much time I’ve gotten with Nathan this past year thanks to COVID. My quality time meter is full, and I’m still not tired of spending time with him. Over this past year, sure we’ve been stuck together, but we’ve also gotten a lot more time to just talk. And I. Love. That. Give me time with my people and deep conversations, and I am a happy girl. I love a date night out and getting that one-on-one time, but what I’ve realized particularly this past year, is that I feel as loved without the special meal if we spend time talking to each other and communicating.
The blessing in this past year, for me, has been the realization that it doesn’t need to be big or fancy. A quality conversation just focused on each other is enough.
I can’t wait to read about your love language!